Silence!

Silence! – April 18, 2013

This morning I woke up at 8:50AM in almost a panic. My breathing was heavy and all I could think in my mind was, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! What was that?”

I had been having a very strange dream; not a “nightmare” per-say but just a very strange dream but it felt like it had a meaning to it. Now please DO NOT misconstrue what I’m trying to say here. I AM NOT saying that this dream was from the Lord. What I’m saying is that out of my strange dream I feel that the Lord may have given it a meaning. The two are very different.

Okay so here it is.

It was daytime and I was in, what felt like a coffee shop. I was sitting at the counter or table drinking my coffee and looking out the large windows when I saw a flying saucer. Okay yes I know that I love those silly old “B” science fiction films and I love Doctor Who so this might sound normal for me but wait.

It flew into sight and I watched it fly over running to the back window to watch it. Beside it came, what looked like, two flying busses. The saucer went invisible and one of the busses flew into it while the other landed, kinda like they were coming and going.

The one landed and people started to spill out of the bus but from the driver’s side. They didn’t look normal, they had a very strange look in their eyes and walked weird. I would equate it to somewhat of a “zombie” look and feel. They still looked like normal human beings but you could tell that something was “off” and they had a strange zoned out look in their eyes.

I ran to the counter and grabbed my things and all of the sudden this little boy kind of appeared. Not out of thin air but he was sitting there beside my books and purse. He looked “off” as well with a sinister or dark look about him; kind of haunting.. He was around five or six, possibly seven, with blond hair and blue eyes. There was also an old lady with him but on the other side of me; kind of like his grandmother.

I quickly grabbed my stuff and ran out to my car. There was panic everywhere and as I drove down the street I called my friend Tammy. I told her that I was coming over and that I needed her to start praying over her house and pleading the blood of Jesus over it and sealing it because of that I had to tell her. She kept asking questions, none of which I remember, but I kept saying, “Please Tammy, if you ever loved me as your best friend PLEASE pray over your house and pray that I can get there! PLEASE!!!” I was terrified. When I got off the phone with her that little boy was sitting beside me on the middle console of my car! There was an old lady right behind me. How did they get in my car?!

I shoved them out of the passenger’s side and tried to keep driving but I got caught up in traffic and then I was in a crowd. They kept mocking me. The boy and the old lady were there but then a younger woman, perhaps in her late teens or very early 20’s, came towards me. She was wearing what looked like a blue hospital gown. She had redish-brown hair cut just above her shoulders that was wild and unkept and she staggered a bit asking me if I had a tissue. She had the same sinister zombie look to her, they all did.

I shoved her away telling her that I didn’t have a tissue and to leave me along but she kept bothering me. Then two surly looking men approached me one black and one white. The white guy sat in the seat behind me and black man in front of me. They were mocking me and teasing me and I kept trying to get away from there but it felt like I was on a bus and couldn’t get away.

The next thing I knew they grabbed me and drug me away and threw me in a room. I kept trying to scream, “JESUS!” over and over again but when I opened my mouth little to nothing came out. I kept trying to quote, “Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.” But the word “Jesus” barely came out of my mouth. I was pointing at them and trying to speak and nothing.

Finally I woke up saying, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” And asking the Lord what that was about. As I said I DO NOT feel that the Lord gave me this dream but if He can use a donkey to speak He can certainly use this frightening dream to do the same.

What I felt was this. Satan is trying to silence what small voice I have. Now I know that I’m really nothing in the church. I take care of the babies once every three months or so but I don’t do anything else. I’m not connected to the “right” people so therefore I don’t feel like I can fulfill my hearts desire in that church. And I’m SOOO different that any of the people I know; never mind women, that I don’t make friends very easily. And the friends I have made have dropped me like a shoe as soon as they get to know the “real” me so I keep to myself.

So my question is this: what exactly is Satan trying to silence? I don’t really have any friends and it’s not like people actually listen to me so I don’t get it. Is he trying to kill (silence) my dreams? Why they’re not really “Christian” just family oriented. I just don’t get it.

Okay so there it is. Maybe I got it wrong and maybe I’m just making this all up but I can’t shake what I felt that dream ment.