Weird Mood

I’m in a weird mood. Got home from church a little while ago, we finally finished Romans although I wasn’t there when they started it so okay cool. Got all my Christmas cards finished and delivered now I just need to get some stamps and mail the rest of these. What else…I’ve been praying about something. Something that has REALLY, REALLY, REALLY been on my heart. I feel like I’ve discerned it right, I feel like I’ve gotten TONS of conformation ~ I think I have. I’ve been asking the Lord is it “this” and He doesn’t answer me. Not yes. Not no. Nothing.

My discernment has always been good, now that’s not just me bragging and trying to make myself sound like a big shot it just is. And I’ve been praying for even clearer and sharper discernment for about a year now so yea I feel like I’ve got a pretty good handle on this thing but aaaahhhhhh. Half of the time I want to scream, the other half of the time I want to cry (like now) and the other half of the time I’m so joyful that nothing could bring be down b/c I KNOW it’s right. (For those of you saying, that’s 1 1/2 this is girl math get over it.)

 Sometimes I think about the conversation between Frac & Giulietta (René Bazinet & Julie Cox) in Alegria and wonder if Frac is right. Sure it’s just a movie but part of that conversation rings very true for me. Is this real or is it a figment of my imagination? Is my discernment right or is it clouded by my subconscious? And why do I feel like bursting into tears? It’s not hormones, I know what those feel like and this is certainly not them so what is it?

 

**Listening to Alegria, singing my heart out and I’ll probably start crying soon. ~ Good cry or bad cry? I don’t’ know.** ~ And yea, I can sing this.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU_-kbFjnrI

Fear Can Be Good

A few months ago the Lord gave me this word for a friend. I posted it here and got a lot of flak for it. I was told that “fear is not of the Lord,” and while that is true what I try to tell people was that THIS is how the Lord gave me this word. He used the word “fear” so I did too. I wrote this as instructed so if you’re going to criticize this word then tell the Lord about it, DON’T post it to my comments.

The reason I’m posting this tonight is b/c I was having a conversation with someone earlier this evening and this came up so I felt that I should post it again. Who knows, perhaps the person it was intended for will actually see it this time.

 

Fear Can Be Good – 10-14-13

This evening on my way home from prayer I realized something. I realized that it’s okay to be scared, or nervous, to do something. Now most Christians will tell you that fear is wrong and that’s it’s of the devil and to rebuke it, but hold on hear me out.

When you’re scared, or nervous, about something it means that you’re not going into something half hazard. It means that you’re putting some thought into your decision because you don’t want to step out and be wrong. In that sense then fear can be a good thing.

So, my advice would be to take one step and stop. And if the ground doesn’t crumble underneath you then take one more step, stop, and wait. And you keep doing this until you know that the ground under you is solid; and then you run towards what you want!

Don’t be afraid to run towards what you want because you might just find out that it’s running towards you too.

How I've Been Feeling...

Yesterday evening I watched, what I thought, was a VERY strange video but then when I googled the lyrics I discovered that they were actually very meaningful. they actually says the things I want to say but can’t.

So what is it that I’m having so much trouble saying? I know I’ve been posting about these guys who have been coming on to me but the truth is that I don’t want any of them. Yes it’s nice to have someone flirt with me for a change but what good does it do if I’m not interested in them? Yes I’m lonely but that doesn’t mean that I have to settle for someone who doesn’t give a damn about me b/c I’m better than that!!! I want someone who’s going to love me for me and not just my parts.

Well anyway, I don’t recommend looking up this video b/c to be honest it kinda weirded me out but as I said the lyrics have a very good message in them so yea here it is.

 

[[No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine]]
You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between what I thought
And what I said
 

You are the night time fear

You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over you'll start
You're my head
You're my heart

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away
 

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say
 

Through the crowd, I was crying out

And in your place there were a thousand other faces
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to make it right
 

You want a revelation,

You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation
 

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day,
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

 

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say

 

Would you leave me,

If I told you what I've done?
And would you need me,
If I told you what I've become?
'cause it's so easy,
To say it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love,
To say it to you out loud

 

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day,
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

 

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say
 

You want a revelation,

You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation
 

You want a revelation,

You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation, some kind of resolution
Tell me what you want me to say.