I’m in a
weird mood. Got home from church a little while ago, we finally finished Romans
although I wasn’t there when they started it so okay cool. Got all my Christmas
cards finished and delivered now I just need to get some stamps and mail the
rest of these. What else…I’ve been praying about something. Something that has
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY been on my heart. I feel like I’ve discerned it right, I
feel like I’ve gotten TONS of conformation ~ I think I have. I’ve been asking
the Lord is it “this” and He doesn’t answer me. Not yes. Not no. Nothing.
My discernment
has always been good, now that’s not just me bragging and trying to make myself
sound like a big shot it just is. And I’ve been praying for even clearer and
sharper discernment for about a year now so yea I feel like I’ve got a pretty
good handle on this thing but aaaahhhhhh. Half of the time I want to scream,
the other half of the time I want to cry (like now) and the other half of the time
I’m so joyful that nothing could bring be down b/c I KNOW it’s right. (For
those of you saying, that’s 1 1/2 this is girl math get over it.)
Sometimes I
think about the conversation between Frac & Giulietta
(René Bazinet & Julie Cox) in Alegria and wonder if Frac is right. Sure it’s
just a movie but part of that conversation rings very true for me. Is this real
or is it a figment of my imagination? Is my discernment right or is it clouded
by my subconscious? And why do I feel like bursting into tears? It’s not hormones,
I know what those feel like and this is certainly not them so what is it?
**Listening
to Alegria, singing my heart out and I’ll probably start crying soon. ~ Good
cry or bad cry? I don’t’ know.** ~ And yea, I can sing this.
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